Men want to be single, the dog as a loyal friend

More and more men want to be single, 80/20 rule ... and I understand it

Today's post is about me personally and I'm not talking about all men here, but include the data and sources in my opinion and experience.

I myself am single and was actually looking for a relationship for a while, but I ask myself more and more what for? I know dating apps well enough, even how the dating apps business models run and how you can earn so neat money with men and in recent years, also partly with payment of these apps, hoping to have better chances (Should not do, you burn money and do not get more calls and after the cancellation, come fake calls that want out of nowhere at once with a letter) and ultimately you have nothing from it.

I myself consider myself averagely attractive and know that I am not a model, I am aware of my appearance and have a good opinion about it, I am self-confident and do not care what others think of my appearance, yes I also go shopping with sweatpants sometimes 😉 .

In the end, I found that within a year I had NO, really no match in one of the world's most popular dating apps and no match came up in Germany. The advantage of a premium subscription is that you get more options and so also the artificial geo-blocker function is deactivated, and lo and behold, in Asia, Tunisia, Morocco, I get out of nowhere matches, partly 2-3 per week, of course, you could now say that I'm white, that you look at me that, do not come from there, but since I write my profiles in the apps in English, you can not trace, from which country I come, simply to avoid that you are reduced to the country in which you live.

So why do I get matches and contacts from countries with partly completely different values? In some cases, good friendships have developed from this, precisely because culturally you can't/aren't allowed to get closer to each other. So what is the reason for that?

And that's where psychology comes into play, or rather not only that, but also the equality of men and women and the increased demands on men.

Through the YouTuber Tamara Wernli, with the YouTube channel TAMARA, I first learned about the problem, where I always wondered, or my environment, why I now have so much difficulty meeting a German woman at all.

But before I go into detail, a few Facts about Tamara Wernli from Wikipedia:

Wernli grew up in Basel, attended high school and earned a federal diploma in commerce. She lived in the U.S. for five years, completing an acting apprenticeship in Los Angeles and the Professional Designation in Marketing at the University of California (UCLA) in Los Angeles. She later trained as a PR professional at the Swiss Public Relations Institute SPRI and completed her university studies with a Bachelor of History, "BA (Hons) History", at the Open University, Milton Keynes (UK). She writes and speaks fluent English, French, German and Swiss German.

This resume alone qualifies you more to be a politician than a member of parliament who only has an aborted degree, *cough*, but that's my personal opinion on it.

Tamara, tells on your Youtube channel (as of March 2023, she has 110,000 subscribers), about various things that affect men as well as women and in the propagated feminist society probably not so well received, but so be it, because truth seems to be found in your videos, so as studies provethat Men more and more lonely, or the Women do not understand the dating market and the competition among men, or Why men have a hard time in modern dating (80/20 rule).

The 80/20 rule

From this rule I have for the first time learn in Tamara's video and suddenly everything made sense.

This rule or rules were established by humans, probably more a psychological behavior pattern, states the following:

80% of women are looking for a man who is visually attractive to the upper 20% of men. The appearance is the decisive factor here.

On the other hand, the remaining 80% of men are left with only 20% of women who are not seeking the top 20% of attractive men.

The dilemma in the matter is that the top 20% of men are the minority and 80% of women want them, but then are disappointed because these are just the free choice and then do not find the perfect man for life, and then at the same time say that men are bad.

Men compete more with each other than women

On the other hand, 20% of the remaining women have the free choice of 80% of the men, but instead of choosing here, this rather leads to the fact that you are annoyed because too many men look at you and write to you, so that you no longer have any desire and delete the app.

So the 80% men are competing much more with each other because the 20% women have the greater choice, but that only brings frustration in the end because that then leads back to the behavior of these women leaving the apps, which means there are even fewer.

Fascinating, isn't it? I don't know who first determined this behavior, but it coincides with my experiments and tests.

As can be seen here in a data analysis of can see, women swipe more on dating apps, you settle for 5% out of about 150 swipes. If we simplify it and calculate with 150 swipes, then these 5% correspond to just 7.5 people, out of 150 men, so only 7-8 out of 150 have a chance of a match.

Men swipe less, but give more likes in percentage. Approximately 125 (if I visually guess correctly), men swipe, which corresponds to 53%, 66.25 women, so 66 women out of 125 that every 3.78 (125 / 66) ~ 4 women is liked.

Graph by Brayden Gerrard via Duro.Data and BY

I have given this data, which I have determined, or on which I rely, to the AI ChatGPT and then you are already shocked how the situation looks:

Calculate and explain to me what the probability is that men and women will match:

As you can see here in a data analysis from, women swipe more on dating apps, you settle for 5% out of about 150 swipes. If we simplify it and calculate with 150 swipes, then these 5% correspond to just 7.5 people, out of 150 men, so only 7-8 out of 150 have a chance of a match.

Men Swipen less, but give more Likes in percentage terms. About 125 (if I guess visually right), men swipe, since 53%, 66.25 women correspond, so 66 women out of 125, that every 3.78 (125 / 66) ~ 4 women is liked.

Women only every 20th person (150 / 7.5) gives a Like. These numbers suggest that women are pickier than men when it comes to liking profiles on dating apps.

To calculate the probability that a man and a woman will match on a dating app, we need to consider both factors: the probability that a man will be liked by a woman, and the probability that a man will like a particular woman.

Based on the numbers above, the probability of a woman liking a man is about 1/20, or 0.05. The probability of a man liking a particular woman is about 1/4, or 0.25 (because every fourth swipe by a man results in a like).

To calculate the probability of a match, we need to multiply these two probabilities: 0.05 x 0.25 = 0.0125 or 1.25%. This means that the probability of a man and a particular woman matching on a dating app is only about 1.25%.

What do I conclude from this? If the formula is logically correct, then that dating apps are garbage and no longer make sense today, because of the increased demands of women, how a man has to look, a friend from Germany found German men not attractive at all and had more than 300 likes within 2 days, but wanted a southern guy, because well, accordingly more attractive...

If you then consider that you only have a statistical probability of 1.25% in the apps, based on the western values, it shows that it hardly makes sense, at least in my eyes. I would find it interesting to see how it would look when comparing certain cultures, and countries, and how ethnic appearance affects it. Because the 1.25% does not apply to me, if I get in virtual in Tunisia 3 matches per week.

I had tried my experiment with my old premium subscription also different European countries, as well as the US, major cities, rural regions failed due to the lack of users to test. And so after 1 virtual week in each country, there was no match. Did I do something wrong? The profile picture and text were the same as in Tunisia.

So I asked my girlfriends in Tunisia why they have matched me and they said that you can not and do not want to do anything with the Arab men and their conservative mentality, and would rather have a modern man, unfortunately, unfortunately, this no longer fits on the subject of religion, you want a modern man, but who is also religiously conservative, then the cat kind of bites in the tail, that does not work so, especially for Western men, but that's another topic.

In the end, they chose me because they were looking for a culturally different type of person. Coincidence? Maybe, maybe not, having a conservative world view in this day and age and not helping out in the household as a man is probably not on many women's minds. At the same time, the demands have also increased. Let's hope that this social development does not result in a Universe 25 scenario ends.

Further sources:

Not all men are good, there are also men who brag about having many wives, but in this reel, unfortunately not embeddable, you see women publicly bragging about cheating on their boyfriends.

ScienceDirect: Loneliness around the world: Age, gender, and cultural differences in loneliness

Women Say 80% of Men Are "Below Average"




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Posted by Petr Kirpeit

All articles are my personal opinion and are written in German. In order to offer English-speaking readers access to the article, they are automatically translated via DeepL. Facts and sources will be added where possible. Unless there is clear evidence, the respective article is considered to be my personal opinion at the time of publication. This opinion may change over time. Friends, partners, companies and others do not have to share this position.

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